Forgiveness empowers you. But there's a reason
why it's so hard to forgive someone else. Here's how to get started
on the path of healing.
Learning how to forgive someone else offers
a way out of the pain of the past. When you've been wronged by
another, the worst thing you can do is to keep the pain alive
and ever-present in your life.
But there's a trick to forgiving someone else:
you have to forgive yourself FIRST. And that's why so few people
are truly able to move on when they've been hurt.
So why should you forgive yourself first? First
of all, self-forgiveness is a strength; it empowers you. By not
forgiving yourself, you are not honoring or respecting yourself.
You're saying you don't matter.
Forgiveness creates freedom. Forgiveness is liberating.
Forgiveness is a positive, pro-active decision. It's a deliberate
choice from a position of power and responsibility.
It's an act of character and integrity. It takes
courage. I admit it's not easy to be kicked by someone and then
forgive YOURSELF for being kicked.
Because, "It's not me - I didn't do this! It's
THEM!! They're the bad ones!"
But finding your own contribution to being kicked
is like finding a foothold to greater power and greater strength.
You will become 'more' if you forgive yourself for being wronged.
It takes enormous courage to let go of the blame.
So often we seek our strength in blame. We anchor to it.
And the thing is, we really are justified to blame!
We really WERE wronged. Nobody would deny that. It's obvious.
But what I'm saying is to go beyond the obvious.
Blame doesn't solve problems. In fact, it locks those problems
The trap is, you really are justified in blaming.
But if you do, it keeps those painful feelings in place. You can't
grow and stretch and reach for more in life when you're blaming.
It's like putting your feelings in the freezer.
And then you have to tote that freezer around with you every where
Blame is like being seduced by a beautiful woman
with a hidden agenda. You think she really does like you when
all she wants is your money. If you know her game, you can easily
resist. If you turn a blind eye, you'll get taken every time.
You think blame is your friend, but really all
it wants is your power. You must give up your power to blame.
I know it doesn't seem that way, because we always
get a cheap hit of power when we blame. But it never lasts.
It's like spending on credit. There's no problem
until the payment comes due.
If you want to get past the blame, then you first
need to forgive yourself - as a way to honor, respect, and empower
yourself. Forgiving yourself gives you the power - and the freedom
- to forgive another.
It reaffirms your self-love and self-acceptance.
It's a way to say "I matter."
So how do you forgive someone else? By forgiving
For detailed, fool-proof instructions on exactly
how to forgive yourself,
go to http://www.forgive-yourself.com
- and then you can focus on forgiving the other person as well.
Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Wizard